9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
