her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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