It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
