Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Randomize
