Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he shaved USA in his pubs
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
