Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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