I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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