Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
