wakey wakey hands off snakey
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
