thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
