so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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