Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
