I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
