you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
