would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize