I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
