Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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