remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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