this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think your dad took our porno
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize