I smell stomach acid.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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