Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
