i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
