Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Dicks are not precious.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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