Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
