Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
