I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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