U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
