It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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