You work out of a Hotel?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
