Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
