Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
