it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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