every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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