Having a random hookup so left but love u
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Come see our sink grown plant.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
