I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
