i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
