ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
COCAINE IS GR8
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
