Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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