I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Randomize
