gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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