hell yes lets make some ravioli
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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