so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so let's talk penis.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
