just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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