Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I need to calm my uterus...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize