I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
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