Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
