GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
it's like iHOP with fire
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
