This is not my ceiling
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
