Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
