i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
