my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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