This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
