we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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