He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
