he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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