she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
