I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
How does one acquire holy water?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
