No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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